A Family of Four

Ever since Peyton has joined our little family, I've been feeling a sense of contentment and peace. She has filled a hole in our family that we didn't even realize we had. Back in September, when we were determining whether or not to have another baby, I was very apprehensive about being home all day, every day with two kids all by myself. I worried about being able to take care of both their needs and my own. I worried that I wouldn't be able to handle the stress and sleep deprivation that comes along with a new baby. But I can definitely say that with her arrival, all those doubts and fears were swept away. She has given me a new sense of purpose, a higher level of patience, and a heart that is just over flowing with love and adoration for my husband and two beautiful girls. It's not to say that I don't have my hard days or that I'm not sleep deprived 99% of the time, because trust me, this whole mommy-of-two thing isn't as easy as some women make it look. 

 Claire has been in love with her baby sister since the moment she saw her. She was well taken care of by my sister Kayleen while I was in the hospital. She stayed the night at our apartment with her two children. Apparently, the cousins had a blast during their first cousin sleepover. I was so glad that Claire was having a good time and was in a good mood to meet her new little sister.

I shed a few tears when my Claire Bear walked into the room. I had missed her so much in the few hours we had been apart. She's always been my little buddy, we do everything together. I felt so complete holding my two babies, for the first time, on my lap. It felt so right, so perfect. My cup was overflowing! I had never felt so blessed and so loved in all my life. In that moment I knew that to be a wife and a mother was my calling. My mind flashed back to my visit to the temple an entire year before, when I had asked my Father in Heaven if it was time to add another child to our home. The answer had been clear then but was confirmed yet again, that Peyton was meant to be in our family at this exact time. How sweet it was to enjoy the blessings we received for listening to that prompting!

I will cherish this picture forever! To me, it radiates that love, peace, and happiness I was feeling inside.

Sisters! I hope that as they grow up, they remain the best of friends.

Our first picture as a family of FOUR! 

I wasn't in the hospital for very long (and for that I am SO grateful!). I had Peyton on a Thursday and we left on Friday at 10 AM. I told all my nurses that I wanted to leave as soon as possible and they made it happen. I was so relieved to be home with all of us together.

We had a small adjustment period but overall the transition from one child to two went much smoother than anticipated. Joe took work and school off through the weekend but had to return to school on Monday. I was a bit nervous about being left with the two girls alone because Joe is usually gone Monday-Friday from 7 AM- 11 PM, which means I am literally on my own. (We miss him a lot and really like it when Daddy is home though!) Claire has been having a hard time (even before the baby was born) with nap time and bed time and I really needed her to take a nap during the day so that I could rest as well (we're still working on it). For the most part Claire handled everything with the new baby pretty well. She was generally pretty understanding if I had to do something for the baby before I could help her. She liked to help me feed her, dress her, and give her a bath. She did throw a few tantrums during those early weeks and there was one incident where she was so frustrated with me that she threw a toy at Peyton's head. Thankfully her aim was way off and that toy has yet to be returned to her.

I've had quite a few people ask if I thought mothering two children was hard. But truthfully, I don't feel that it is hard. For a while I had a hard time explaining this because I couldn't find the right words. It wasn't until I was talking with a woman in our ward that I found the right word for it. She commented that mothering more than one child was busy. And seriously, I couldn't have said it better. It's not hard, it's busy! So stinkin' true!

I think that things were made a lot easier for me through a lot of tender mercies. Peyton is a very content baby. As long as she's fed and dry, she's happy. She is an excellent sleeper! She sleeps in her bassinet at night and will eat every 2-3 hours. It's still kind of hard waking up that much but I'm just grateful that I get some kind of sleep. We've had a lot of dinners brought to us and my mother in law came to help me for a few days. With Claire I suffered with really bad postpartum depression. This time around, I have felt so great! My recovery has been so easy. I have so much energy and it feels great to finally be ending the throwing up and nausea. I had a bit of a rough patch with breastfeeding and with some information I received during my postpartum appointment (more on that later) but despite that minor bump in the road, I have finally found my new normal.

It's been fun watching Claire interact with her little sister. She tries to say her name and calls her "sister". She kisses her ALL. THE. TIME. Haha it's sweet but we are constantly reminding her to be soft. She also likes to hold her hand. If she's been asleep too long (according to Claire) she will yell in Peyton's face, "Wake up baby! Wake up!" Poor Peyton. Now that Peyton is 3 weeks old, she is awake a little more during the day and I often catch her watching her older sister as she plays. I'm looking forward to them interacting more as they get older, but at the same time I'm trying so hard to hold on to them as they are now. Time just seems to be flying by and I'm afraid that if I don't enjoy every stage, I'm going to miss it all.

Overall we are just in love with our new little bundle of joy! I love that we are a growing family. I love that she just fits right in. For us right now, life is pretty great.