2+2=4

It's true! I'm pregnant again! We are so excited to welcome a second baby into our home! 

We had our first ultrasound yesterday and everything looks good so far. The baby is healthy and I'm due September 19th. (Just a few days after Joe's birthday!) So far this pregnancy has been a re-run of Claire's. I'm super tired, nauseous ALL the time, and I throw up a lot. But thankfully I have my zofran during the day and unisom at night to get me through. This might be too much information but I've gone from throwing up 12+ times a day to about 2-3 times with my zofran (I'm telling you, that stuff is GOLD!). I'll take any relief I can get! 

Joe has been a lifesaver for me. I could not do this without him! He is my comfort when I cry. He is the dishwasher and cook. He is my personal grocery shopper when I get a craving. And he does it all in between working full time and going to school full time. He is pretty much the best husband ever!

It's been a little harder this time around since I have a toddler to chase after and keep out of trouble. Claire and I watch a lot of movies and have a lot of cuddle time on the couch. Most days she is very patient with me. Other days...not so much. On those days, there is a lot of tantrums (her), a lot of tears (both of us), and overwhelming feelings of inadequacy (me). Sometimes I freak myself out and think, "I can't do this! I can't even take care of one baby, how will I take care of two?!" Hopefully I'll get a little more used to the idea as the time draws closer.

The day we found out I was pregnant, I was in such denial. I KNEW I was pregnant two weeks before I finally took the test but for some reason I was not ready to find out yet. Joe went and bought the test on his way home one day and practically forced me to take the test. It didn't even take 5 seconds before the two little pink lines appeared. I went into pure panic mode and immediately ripped open another test. A few minutes later I was sitting on the bathroom floor staring at three pregnancy tests with two perfectly clear, pink lines on all three of them. Joe stuck his head in and asked, "So? What's the result?" He was practically jumping up and down with excitement and all I could do was lift up a test for him to see and barely whisper, "It's positive." His whole face lit up, he was so excited. Me on the other hand, I burst into tears and had a total melt down. Yes, we were trying to get pregnant but we didn't expect it to happen as soon as it did. With Claire we tried for 9 months before finally getting a positive result. This time it didn't even take three months. I was prepared for a long trial run so when it happened I was completely caught off guard. Ha I guess the joke was on me! 

I think all along it was a really hard decision for me. We weren't even sure that we wanted to try for another baby so soon but I kept getting a really strong impression. For a couple of months it was all I could think about...more babies. I kept pushing it away, telling myself, "Not until Claire is two. That's what we agreed on. " But no matter how hard I tried to push the feeling away it would just keep coming back. I asked Joe how he felt about it and he said we should go to the temple and pray about it together.   I have never had such a direct answer. I still think it's amazing that we both got the same answer. We both felt that we should not wait. But even with my confirmation I still continued to pray about it everyday. And the answer was always the same...don't wait. 

 Now, I'm 11 weeks and getting more and more excited about this tiny little baby. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time yesterday was exactly what I needed. It all finally feels real to me...I am having another baby! We will become a family of FOUR! I love my little family!

Claire gets excited when we talk about the baby but when we ask her if she wants a brother or sister she either gets really mad and shouts, "NO!" or she starts to cry and looks like this...

I think it will take her a little time to get used to the idea. I know she will be an amazing big sister!